Comfort2themourning's Blog

Loss of a Spouse

Tobie and I have both lost our spouses. We want to use this page to encourage others who have lost their spouses with stories and testimonies of what helped us and others to make it through the hard times. Do you have a particular Scripture Verse that just really ministered to you? Do you recommend a book that you read that helped as well? If you’d like to share your story, please reply to our blog. We reserve the right to edit due to space constraints.

Debbie’s Story (at least one of them):

My first husband passed away of a massive heart attack at the age of 40. He was a Children’s Pastor and was out of state with two van loads of kids at the time of his passing. It was quite traumatic for all who were there.

I was very blessed to have a fantastic body of believers that just surrounded me with a lot of love and support. We were new on staff at the church as it was and hadn’t had a lot of time to form close relationships, but we were very close with the staff and elders. The elders, staff & their wives were close at hand the day that he passed, and my son and I were never left alone until we were able to catch a flight back to Oklahoma to where my husband was going to be interred. Being the worry-wart that I am and knowing that people were going to be coming and going out of the house and also that I was going to be gone for awhile, I was naturally concerned about how my house looked. I expressed my concern to one of the wives and she said “Say no more” and went to work. She finished doing the dishes in the sink and did some laundry and straightening for me. She just blessed my socks off by doing those little things for me so that I could concentrate on making funeral arrangements at a distance, packing, finding burial clothes, pictures, etc. etc.

That’s just one of many stories I could share that really did help. Especially in the beginning hours after hearing the news when you struggle with crying and yet worrying about all the things that need to get done and planned etc.

Tobie’s Story (at least one of them):

My first wife, Kelli, went home to be with her Lord on June 30, 2008 at the age of 49. She collapsed at work on June 20th suffering a hemmorhagic stroke and never regained consciousness. She suffered a second stroke on June 29th from which she did not recover. We have had a vast amount of support from family, friends and church families. Sam’s, where Kelli worked the last year and a half or so of her life, showed so much support during this major event in our lives and we cannot thank them enough for all they have done. So many people came and sat with us at the hospital. A few even spent the night with us there. There were so many who came to the funeral and showed their love for Kelli and support for the family. We cannot thank each person enough for their outpouring of love, gifts, food and time. It has been appreciated very much!

Kelli enjoyed working at Sam’s and meeting and working with people, singing in the choir and watching children at church and spending time with family. She had a big impact on anyone she came into contact with. She was a wonderful mother to our three girls. She was my best friend, wife and companion. Our 25th wedding anniversary was July 16, 2008. Needless to say, there was a huge gap in my life which a fantastic person used to fill (and still does in my heart). Words cannot express what I would really like to say about her nor is there enough space to put it. We miss her greatly, but know we will be with her again one day soon!

1 Comment »

  1. After 54 1/2 years of a wonderful marriage, my beloved husband, Bob passed away on February 14, 2006. I had experienced passing of my parents and inlaws, but losing my husband was much worse. He had his first heart attack when he was 45 and had a lot of heart damage, but the Lord was gracious and still gave us 30 more years together. I am very grateful for that. We raised 4 wonderful children together. We served the Lord in the church together and enjoyed our Christian walk together. He was 78 years old when he had his 5th heart attack and died. My grief journey is continuing, but it is less intense now and I continue to learn to be a widow. I want to reach out to others walking this same road and assure them that I do understand–only when you have walked this road can you say that with reality. My family as well as my church family have been wonderful support through this and though the pain of loss is still strong, the deep ache that I felt at first has lessened. Of course my faith that he is with Jesus is the best comfort of all. I think the main thing I’d like to share to someone in need is don’t hold back the tears when the waves of grief hit. I learned that our body has harmful toxins that build up and tears are God’s avenue to help us to release them–otherwise, our bodies get sick. So have a good “boo-hoo” and know that it’s your God-given outlet. Thanks for letting me share part of my story.

    Comment by Marilyn — July 2, 2009 @ 6:15 am |Reply

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